Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord ;seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:2-3
Through the last 29+ years of marriage I’ve participated in many Bible studies about being a godly wife or having a godly marriage. I’ve also read many, many books on those same topics. Why? Because I was seeking for truth about “how to” be the best wife I could be.
Through the years I gleaned a lot of truth, but at times it was also very frustrating. There were books and studies that seemed to me to be a long, undo-able list of things I should do or how I should behave. I would often become overwhelmed and frustrated. Then came the lies. The lies that said, “you’ll never get it”, “just face it, your not going to be a godly wife like so and so.” “After all there is just no way I will ever be the Proverbs Woman,” I often thought to myself.
What was a woman to do? What steps could I take to be a godly wife and have a godly marriage? Was there a formula I could follow? Maybe a book on “the 7 steps to a godly marriage” ?
At times, early in my marriage I would just sit and cry out to God in frustration. Where were the older women who could show me? Why couldn’t anyone see that I had NO CLUE what I was doing?!
God heard the frustration in my heart’s cry. Over time He answered. His answer was not what I expected, but it brought such freedom!
God set me free from trying to become the “perfect” wife and have the “perfect” marriage. Freedom came when I realized that I only need to follow Christ.
What my husband really needed is a wife who followed hard after God.
In order to be a godly wife, or even a godly mother I “only” needed to take care of my relationship with God. I needed to be the woman that God created me to be. A woman who hungers and thirst after God. A woman who obeys her God. A woman who knows that God must be her very first priority.
I needed to be in God’s word, studying, mediating, praying so that God could create in me a changed heart. He alone can change my wrong attitudes toward life and those in it. He alone can create in me a true obedience to His will for my life.
Through the years I’ve realized that it is not about me BECOMING a godly wife but it’s about me seeking the ONE who can create in me the desire to be a godly daughter of the King.
I’ve learned that to be a good wife and have a good marriage that I must be passionately pursuing Jesus and my relationship with Him. It is in the word of God and studying it for myself that I learn to be the woman God desires me to be.
You see what I have learned is that I can have any number of lists on how to be a good wife but I will never measure up to the list. I will never measure up to the expectations of others or myself. They only place I will find joy, and acceptance is in my relationship with Christ. He is more than enough.
Teach me, O LORD, the way of Your statutes, And I shall observe it to the end. Give me understanding, that I may observe Your law And keep it with all my heart. Make me walk in the path of Your commandments, For I delight in it. Incline my heart to Your testimonies…Turn away my eyes from looking at vanity, Andrevive me in Your ways. Establish Your word to Your servant, As that which produces reverence for You…Behold, I long for Your precepts;Revive me through Your righteousness. (Psalms 119:33-40)